Kelly Monaco

There's the stretching. The running of laps, the lifting of weights and the exercise of the vocal cords. And, of course, the turn at the communal pot of eye shadow. For the 1,000 fifth- to 12th-grade South Florida girls in the Cheer and Dance/Drill Team Competition at the NFL Experience, those rituals are all just part of the game. The event, which took place Sunday in a tent outside Dolphin Stadium, aimed to show adolescent girls positive role models. Those came in the form of professional cheerleaders from the Miami Dolphins and the New Orleans Saints, along with college cheerleaders from the University of Miami, Nova Southeastern University and Florida Atlantic University. A smattering of National Football League players, including Reggie Givens and Henri Crockett were on hand as well -- to show the young cheerleaders football moves and positions. ''They know more about football than I know about cheerleading,'' admitted Crockett, a linebacker for the Minnesota Vikings and a native of South Florida. Although the event was targeted at adolescent girls, younger girls were not turned away. Dionne ''Dee-Dee'' Mapp, a 5-year-old kindergartner, was a crowd-pleaser with her high-pitched version of R. Kelly's I Believe I Can Fly. The child's mother, Janice Coakley, had herded about 20 Miami Gardens Girl Scouts to the event. ''It's good for them,'' Coakley said. ``It's good for the girls who are cheerleaders and also for the ones that aren't really involved in anything.'' Invitations went out to dance and cheer schools throughout the region as well as gyms and clubs. Most of the girls were from Miami-Dade or Broward County, but teams came from farther afield, such as the St. Lucie Missettes from Port St. Lucie. Girls learned cheers from the older cheerleaders, threw footballs at the NFL players, yelled chants and asked questions of guest speakers such as Kelly Monaco of television's Dancing with the Stars, race-car driver Audrey Zavodsky and Beatriz Canals of WFOR-CBS4. After the self-esteem-building activities and a frenzied autograph-signing session, the girls were divided into teams for the competition, as dance-off standards such as AC/DC's You Shook Me All Night Long and DJ Kool's Let Me Clear My Throat blared through the tent. For New Orleans cheerleader DiAnne Davis, who flew in to be a judge, the competition itself wasn't the most important matter.

Dancing with the Stars and Wardrobe Malfunctions: A Conspiracy Theory

On season one of Dancing with the Stars, Kelly Monaco suffered what had become known as a "wardrobe malfunction". At that point, Dancing with the Stars was a filler show, scheduled for a short, summer run by ABC. It was a novelty act, starring D-list celebrities. No one expected anything of it. Now, well...you know how Dancing with the Stars is doing. It pretty much dominates the universe. During last season, Monique Coleman also suffered a slight wardrobe malfunction. There have been many other close calls as well as outfits, worn by both the stars and the dancers, which looked to be constantly on the verge of malfunctioning. I am of the belief that not only is this essential to the ratings of Dancing with the Stars, but that it is also entirely deliberate. Here's the situation: You're an ABC executive. It's the Summer of 2005. You've commissioned and aired a weirdly specific reality show that features ballroom dancing. The breakout star, early on, is the guy who played J. Peterman from Seinfeld. The show has inexplicably received far higher ratings than anyone could've hoped. What do you do? You try to increase the hype and see if the show can actually turn into something. So, maybe you take Kelly Monaco, one of your contestants, and call for a staged wardrobe malfunction. Kelly, after all, is quite attractive and has no problem flaunting her body (she had previously posed for Playboy). Is this unlikely, that ABC would order a shameless flaunting of skin to help out a show? Of course not. There are two truths that we need to observe here: 1) The ratings for Dancing with the Stars are inflated significantly by the cleavage of their female dancers. It is naïve to think otherwise. 2) Costume designers, in general, know how to clothe women in ways that will keep those clothes from falling off, even when those women are dancing. How could Kelly Monaco's malfunction not have been intentional? What, then, is the result of such a malfunction? If viewers were already watching Dancing with the Stars because of the scantily-clad women, why would that change after Monaco's incident? Well, first, it brought attention to the mere fact that the female dancers on Dancing with the Stars wear (sometimes ridiculously) revealing outfits. Before the malfunction, most men did not know this. Afterwards, when their significant others implored them to watch what first seemed like a silly chick show, they now obeyed. This is the conscious ramification of the event. The subconscious may be just as important. Now, every time an episode of Dancing with the Stars aired, there was always the chance of another malfunction. Accidental nudity is something the Id craves, and, if the possibility is there for it to occur, we (men) will be drawn to it. (To be fair, this point may just be a selfish rationalization for the mysterious appeal of Dancing with the Stars. I don't know why I enjoy watching it. I should probably hate it, yet I watch every episode. Therefore, I create reasons for watching it. Moving on.) Sex appeal is a weapon, a weapon wielded by every major network. This is not a new insight. Dancing with the Stars is different, though. If you create a situation where the viewer assumes that the sex appeal is not forced, but spontaneous, than you're going to win over viewers. Dancing with the Stars, whether by choice or by luck, has done this. Kelly Monaco's wardrobe malfunction was the best thing that ever happened to Dancing with the Stars. It increased the already highly-charged sexuality of the dancing and gave the show its first news-worthy story. Without it, Mario Lopez might still be wallowing in relative obscurity. Jerry Springer may not have been able to display his awe-inspiring dancing prowess. Emmitt Smith may not have gotten the opportunity to bestow his plethora of coloful, cut-off tuxedo shirts upon the cloying masses.

Everything becomes Electra

So a little birdy told us that Carmen Electra, dancer, one-time singer, actress and bombshell extraordinaire, would be coming to Miami for Super Bowl XLI. And we'd be remiss if we didn't ask her for a scoop. Electra earned her Hollywood stripes modeling for Playboy, hosting MTV shows, marrying Dennis Rodman, acting in Baywatch, dancing with the Pussycat Dolls and, most recently, starring in the MTV reality show, Till Death Do Us Part with soon-to-be ex-husband rocker Dave Navarro. Teasing aside, the Ohio native is no entertainment lightweight. How many of us can say musical genius Prince signed us to his record label and produced an album for us back in the day? Carmen Electra gets Unbuttoned with James H. Burnett III.

Super Bowl XLI Celebrity Bombshells Host Fourth Annual Leather and ...

Snow Queen Vodka presents Leather and Laces 2007. The preeminent Super Bowl party arrives to Miami with performances by Cirque du Soleil and music by popular A-list party DJ/rock singer Samantha Ronson and DJ Colleen Shannon, Playboy's 50th Anniversary Playmate. The bombshell hostesses for the evening include: Carmen Electra, Jenny McCarth, Kelly Monaco, Victoria Silvstedt and Brande Roderick. Miami, FL (PRWeb) January 25, 2007 -- Chicago based Snow Queen Vodka (a favorite among Bears player, Rex Grossman) makes its Miami premiere at Superbowl XLI to present the fourth annual Leather and Laces Super Bowl party at the new South Beach, Asian-inspired restaurant and lounge, Chakra.

Miami has been long awaiting an entertainment venue like Chakra. Comparable to Tao in New York and Las Vegas, the three-story custom-built entertainment complex with its Asian décor (Buddha heads and rain falling from the ceiling onto a Buddha statue in a lily pond) is tailored to accommodate a diverse mix of entertaining events including corporate and private events, live shows and this year's Leather and Laces event.

The preeminent Super Bowl party will arrive to Miami with performances by Cirque du Soleil and music by Samantha Ronson, a popular A-list party DJ/rock singer and DJ Colleen Shannon, Playboy's 50th Anniversary Playmate. The bombshell hostesses for the evening include Carmen Electra, Jenny McCarthy, Kelly Monaco (General Hospital's Samantha McCall and winner of 'Dancing with the Stars' Season 1), Model Victoria Silvstedt and Actress/Model Brande Roderick.

THE RUMBLE

Aubrey Aquino will be the busiest woman in Miami during Super Bowl Week as TV correspondent for "Deco Drive," assigned to cover the endless stream of Super Bowl galas. The 1998 San Jose State journalism grad Aquino will attempt to cover 23 parties in eight days for South Florida's No. 1 entertainment TV show. Aquino, a Raiderette in 2000 and 2001, has invited 12 of her former Oakland cheerleader teammates to stay at her Miami apartment. "I'll be super busy, I'm stocking up on the Red Bull," Aquino told The Post's thirsty Marc Berman. Aquino predicts the most sizzling party will be Friday at Chakra Lounge on Ocean Drive - "The Celebrity Bombshells Leather and Laces" bash. The guest DJ is Colleen Shannon, "Playboy's" 50th anniversary Playmate. The bombshell hostesses are Jenny McCarthy, Carmen Electra, soap-opera actress Kelly Monaco, model Victoria Silvstedt and actress/model Brande Roderick. Shaquille O'Neal and Dwyane Wade will host dueling parties Thursday - with Shaq's bash at the Casa Casuarina (the former Versace mansion). Wade's party is at Bongo's Cuban Cafe, a club inside AmericanAirlines Arena. P. Diddy is sponsoring two parties (Friday at Club Space, Saturday at Chakra). Another event high on Aquino's list is Reggie Bush's gala at South Beach's Fifth Nightclub Wednesday. Aquino projects the week's "sexiest" shindig will be Saturday night's Penthouse bash at Mansion that will be teeming with models. She hopes Super Bowl Week will add a batch of new, hot photos for her Web site (www.aubreyaquino.com). The Playboy party Saturday night at the AA Arena will be hosted by "The King of Crunk" Lil Jon and 30 Playboy Bedtime Bunnies. NFLers scheduled to join the Playmates include Antonio Gates, John Lynch, Luis Castillo, Shawne Merriman, Tony Gonzalez, Will Demps and Willie McGinest.

Kelly Monaco

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